Things you don't know about me

16 June 2013

Antisocial is a TERRIBLE habit i would say, but i can't help myself being like that.

I hate myself being such a ANTISOCIAL person, such a low confident person. *sick of it* 
And i'm feeling 'extra' EMO today.... facing all my bad habits at once.. feeling so helpless right now :/
Forgive me, am going to blog about some crap tonight because someone scolded me for being antisocial today. So i spent my night thinking about it..The problems. 

Well, It's my "LONELY" time again, staying alone at home...spending time with myself in my room.. thinking about myself, and i started feeling emotional.. very emotional. 

read my mind :

I think i'm a very weird person, i don't like going out. Sometimes, I don't like going out because i don't know how to social these people, i'm stressed out...I'm definitely not an out going person when i'm wit strange people.. i don't know what should i say... i scare people staring at my bad skin..sometimes i feel uncomfortable when people looking at me.. I'll just keep quiet and playing with my phone when i feel not comfortable. I wanna make friends but i'm too shy and don't know how to keep a conversation going, it's like i'm out of topic or am i TOO LAZY TO TALK, i don't know!! I can hardly have a conversation with someone. I cant be an initiative person...i don't like to be the first person to talk, i don't know what to react, i'm not sure whether that person like me or not... this and that...Even when there's people came and talk to me, i still feeling uncomfortable and so wanted to LEAVE. LOL!!  I really need some time to get myself into the situation. FML seriously... There's always moment like this, so i'd rather stay in with the close one than go out. Sigh, All these problem make me seems so unapproachable! I know this is wrong, but i don't know how to change it. 

Don't get me wrong, i'm not that kinda girl who just keep quiet and hiding inside the room.hmmm...
I'm actually a very very TALKATIVE person... but it just happens when i'm with my closest friend. 
YES, i know it's funny. I don't seems antisocial at all. It's ridiculous, I had so many 'Facebook friends', hi-bye friends and i had more than 600 contacts in my phone list.. BUT i had NO ONE to talk to and i've no idea who can i call when i feel like hanging out..... *what a joke*

It's pretty dilemma, i don't know how to explain. I'm so stressed out. 
In fact, there's so many thoughts in my mind... but i'm just not good in describing myself. *slap slap*

can i cry...i'm not suppose to be like that!!!!!!!!!  :(

27 comments:

  1. Hey Karen, it is not a problem if you are facing this issue because all the ppl will have their weakness and what we have to do is face the fact and find out a solutions. We have to step out from our circle in order to change this situation and I know it seems quite easy when we just said out so let's take a move! Cheer!

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    1. Hi Sheirly, but i think it's the biggest problem for me. I hate being like that :/

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  2. Karen you know what I'm exactly like you! I'm sooooo incredibly talkative but only with my family, boyfriend and best friend. Otherwise, I too feel so darn lazy to talk to acquaintances and making small talk. I hate small talk! Haha. I only like to have deep meaningful or just plain hilarious conversations. Like hey, how are you? Have you eaten? God the weather is so hot today! It feels so inconsequential to me. And I know I love reading romance on my bed all day, but I don't see myself as someone with no options. But sometimes I will FEEL like socializing, so then I do and have a lot of fun. I LOVE getting to know people and forming really really close friendships when you can talk about real stuff without getting judged. So really even in a crowd of 30, I'd always end up talking to one person only. LOL

    So don't worry about who you are in nature, just as long as you feel good. Don't forget to get out mingle and have fun sometimes just because you never know what meaningful friendships will surprise you - people you can call at 3am in the morning and will still listen to your bullshit or come over and hang out with you because you feel like it. :)

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    1. Hi Sabrina! Hahaha ya, i saw a few people leaving comment in my blog post telling me that they are actually the same! Well, at least i'm not alone. LOL! But i really think it's a 'problem'... i wish i can change all these bad attitude..wish i'm an out-going person. Hmmmmm :/

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  3. When I read your post, it feels like I am that person! Like you, I hate going out with a large group of people. And when I do, I will just keep quiet and try to blend in (i.e. be transparent). I hate forcing myself to make small talk and would rather just keep quiet and play with my phone. It feels sooo uncomfortable to be in this situation. Once i was out with my bf's friends and all I wanted at that moment was to leave!

    However, I am much more better and friendly when I am with close friends. I prefer hanging out one to one with my girlfriends and just share everything with them. In the end, I realized that I am just an introvert and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people just enjoy solitude as opposed to being social.

    So don't feel sad. There are people like you. Learn to accept it but at the same time, cherish the friendship with your close friends and once in a while come out of your comfort zone =)

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    1. Hi Sarah, just realized that there's a lot of people like me. LOL!
      Yea i know it's not wrong be like that, but i feel so wrong. People thought i'm unapproachable, but i'm actually not.
      My heart feeling not comfortable and stressed with all these 'problem'...
      Hope someday i can overcome all these :)

      Delete
  4. hmmm. i can totally feel you. and yessss very talkative person but only applies to the closest friend! and yesssss... friends a lot, but dunno who to call or who to hang out with!! hi5!!

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    1. LOL, i think there's quite a lot of people having the same problem.

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  5. I know your feeling because I am just like you. I am talkative, only when I am with my mom and closest friends. I want to be more social kind person, but I just hate going out, stay at home is so much comfortable. When I feel like I want to make friend with somebody, I dare not to take the initiative to talk with him/her, I afraid that he/she will feel that I am annoying. I think a lot till I dare not to come out from my comfort zone. I seriously wonder what kind of people am I, I think that I am weird. :/

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    1. Hi Kharn, just realized that there's a lot of people like me. LOL!
      But i really think it's a problem, it needs to be solve! I wanna be a better person so badly :/
      & i think it's time to overcome the bad habits. Hmmm.....

      Don't worry, you're not alone, I'm 'weird' too! hahaha :P

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  6. it happens to me as well. but then, i dont think u should feel stress because of that. just be yourself will do :3 life is way too short to keep everyone satisfied. those who know you well and appreciate you will know that it is not that U want to be antisocial by any means. ^^ cheers <3

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    1. Yea i know, but i just wanna improve myself. I hate it when there's things stuck, like now :/
      Anyways, i will try to overcome it. Thanks!

      Delete
  7. Just a suggestion, maybe you could pray to God and tell Him about that. I'm sure He will help you go through it. I was once like that, and I tried to step out and started to speak first. Things change, maybe you will have that '' people might not want to talk to me '' kinda feeling, but basically its really not like that. :)

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    1. Alright steph, i will try. Thanks for advice :)

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  8. sometimes i have the same feel as well as u too.. i found it hard to mix with ppl who are abit "too open". not that im traditional or wat but as i believe in certain principles and things need to be keep in check.. i can be talkative wif my close buddies.. i have lots of diff types of friends.. from professional to normal ppl.. maybe im trying to adapt to a new diff surrounding and now im getting better.. certain ppl talk me tru, and i try to adjust myself to diff ppl in diff environment.. maybe if i have a chance to meet u someday i can offer u some advice.. try to go into a shower.. and have a deep cry, lamenting why ppl around u dont understand u.. n u will feel better.. or just go the seaside, and shout out loud.. it works, really.. anyway.. take care n stay strong.. i dono if u understand chinese.. but tis song always kept me going. i hope it does the same for u too.. kar yao! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5eBUOAVC5o

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    1. Alright, Thanks! Will check it out later :)

      Delete
  9. 我能明白你的感受
    我是個外向的人
    可是很好的朋友卻沒有幾個
    要出門要做什麼東西要聊心事都找不到任何一個人來聊
    有時候孤單得想哭
    卻只能堅強的一個人解決所有事情
    要加油哦! =)

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    1. 应该很多人都是这样吧。
      嗯,一起加油吧!:)

      Delete
  10. I can feel you.
    A lot of contacts in the phone book, a lot of friends shown online in FB, but no one can talk to!
    If blog able to make you feel better & express your deep feeling. Go ahead.
    Dont keep everything in heart ; it hurts you.

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    1. you have lots of supporter here.
      we will be here mentally support you!

      All the best!

      Delete
  11. I'm practically like you.., in the fact that so far in my FB Profile comes out this number:


    "Friends · 2,167"



    When I'm truly capable of assuring that from each and every single person of those "2,167".., Almost NO ONE even knows me in person.. (from FB), and a lot of people have added me.. but as they didn't even dropped me a damn single line... at all... -_-''...

    So, they got deleted...

    In fact..., this past July 2th, I really had to end having blocking someone who I used to talk with almost always.., 'cause that night.. In a veeeeeryyy sudden way.., she just insulted me(Twice... -_-''),...and I really never ever asked her all of those past times that she had done just exactly the same thing... (that's another reason why I've just still been on my own (meaning "Single".. xD).


    Lots and lots of damn and stupid people has betrayed me.., and has disappointed me..; also, time later of I having helped them out (to all of those same idiots out there.., they just started to say they never ever knew me at all either.... -__-''



    The bottom line is "Oneself Can NOT Rely/Trust NOT Even Your Own Shadow....; For It Leaves You As Soon As You Just Get Into The Dark... As Soon As You Just Go Into Any Kind Of Dark Room..."

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  12. I also like that especially during my secondary school time.... you were writing my mind too..... It may be a problem in fact, but I think the most important thing is we are happy with our life and freedom on what we like to do, be ourself, be yourself ^^
    Gambateh!

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  13. Maybe its time to go out from the shell and try mixing around... there might be actually than 1 good friend out there...

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  14. Maybe go K session, Life is so boring without up and down...
    maybe is your down time now :P
    I got mine too... quality time is important to us...sometime

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